Today I’m going to talk about something that should already be obvious. I don’t like cats. There, I said it. I know, I know.
I’ve heard of many households where dogs and cats coexist in relative, apparent harmony. I realize there are exceptions to the rule. That may work for them but I’m sorry, it doesn’t work for me.
Maybe it’s the idea that cats think they are the owners. Maybe it’s the pooping in a box or the always-landing-on-their-feet thingy. Maybe it’s the hairballs or the strange sounds they make. Maybe it’s the alleged nine lives. Quite honestly, I don’t know and I really don’t care. I just have to put cats in the Do-Not-Like category.
Does that mean that all cats are evil? Of course not. I’m sure there are at least four or five cats on this great big earth that aren’t annoying.
I was going to call this post My Enemy the Shark because I don’t think I like sharks. I’ve never seen one in real life but I can’t think of many good reasons to like them. They are a threat to us dogs who like to swim in the ocean.
Since I moved to Florida I found out that I like swimming in the ocean despite the salt water. However, there is always a risk that a shark might be out there lurking. Sharks have an unfair advantage when we go swimming in the ocean. They can see us but we can’t see them. They can also smell us and it’s said they can hear us when we bark.
We ran into a lady who grew up close to our favorite beach in Florida. She said the local laws didn’t allow dogs on the beaches when she was a kid because the sharks would hear the barking and think it was baby seals. Thank goodness they changed the rules. We love to come to our own dog beach here in Venice and we’ve never seen any sharks.
And besides, any shark that doesn’t know the difference between a dog’s bark and a baby seal can’t be very bright. Then again, I’ve heard some pretty whimpy barking that I thought was something besides a dog!
I’m a relatively new Florida resident and I have to be honest with you, I have never seen an alligator before. I’m told I don’t want to ever see an alligator but I’m still curious. They say the bigger alligators are not afraid of us dogs and will even try to catch us and make a meal out of us. That doesn’t sound like a very pleasant way to go!
I guess that’s a good reason not to like alligators but that’s not the real reason I don’t like them. The real reason I don’t like alligators is because I’m a water-loving dog and I like to go swimming. In Florida there are lots and lots of ponds, lakes, rivers, water holes and all kinds of places where a dog can get wet and go swimming. Continue reading
Dad and Heidi have had me working my tail off finding out about this whole blogging thing.
We’re up to our ears in SEO, RSS, HTML, PPC and POOP. Oops, that last one may have been my own. Hehe.
It can be pretty daunting to go out there and research stuff on the internet. There is soooo much to sort through! And so much of it is a lot of doo doo if you pardon my French.
Speaking of French, most of those words they use go right over my head. Hypertext Transfer Protocol? How about Sit? Or Stay? I may not do them when I’m asked, but at least I know what they mean!
I just want to go back to being a dog, where all I have to worry about is chasing balls and barking at strangers and cool stuff like that.
I’m going to talk to you about something that I have an irrational fear of. It’s garbage bags. I hate anything in a bag and for me, it all started with the garbage bag. When I see Dad changing out one of these dreadful creatures, I hightail it to the other room and hide out for fifteen minutes or so.
Yes, I know the garbage is not going to attack me. I know I could easily shred a garbage bag into a hundred pieces in a few minutes time. I’d probably even have fun doing it. But I’d rather avoid than confront. I know some dogs have a fondness for garbage and get into trouble because of this fondness. Not me.
I’m going to talk about something today that many people, myself included, find offensive. Have you ever seen a tick? They are about the ugliest thing I can think of. The reason I brought up the subject is because I got one today. It’s the second one I’ve had this season. I got one on me last summer that must have stuck to me for a long time because he got big and fat.
Many people have a different idea of the Canadian goose than I do. For some, seeing a flock flying high overhead in the familiar V pattern is beautiful and majestic as they squawk and soar high above. In fact this may be a rare occurrence, perhaps seen only a time or two a year.
It’s different here. Geese are a part of every day life. They are everywhere. That in itself is not a bad thing. But if you take several hundreds, if not thousands of geese and multiply them by the 2 pounds of poop they average per day, you may start to get a picture of a not so pleasant scene.
There are a handful of things that I am afraid of and the vacuum cleaner is one of them. I don’t know why it’s there and I don’t want to. That instrument is capable of terrible things I cannot imagine. Every once in awhile, Dad pulls that beast out of the front closet and does something that makes it go crazy.
I’m not sure what he does but the vacuum has a really long tail and Dad takes it by the end and sticks it into a plug in the wall. It must not like that very much because it starts to make this howling noise that sounds like a freight train.
Of course I run as far away as I can, which is only to the bedroom. I then stick my head underneath the bed. I would crawl in and hide my entire body but I’ve gotten too big to get all the way underneath. I’m safe for a little while but then the sound gets closer and louder. I can hear Dad fighting with it. It has a really strong nose and it sniffs every square foot of carpet in the whole apartment. (I thought that was supposed to be my job!)
After about ten minutes or so, Dad has moved it from the living room to the kitchen. Then it starts coming to get me. It’s pure torture to hear that thing getting closer to me, getting louder and louder. I can see Dad struggling to pull it back every time it makes a surge forward but it must be too strong for him because it keeps coming after me.