I’m going to talk to you about something that I have an irrational fear of. It’s garbage bags. I hate anything in a bag and for me, it all started with the garbage bag. When I see Dad changing out one of these dreadful creatures, I hightail it to the other room and hide out for fifteen minutes or so.
Yes, I know the garbage is not going to attack me. I know I could easily shred a garbage bag into a hundred pieces in a few minutes time. I’d probably even have fun doing it. But I’d rather avoid than confront. I know some dogs have a fondness for garbage and get into trouble because of this fondness. Not me.
Dad doesn’t have to worry about me getting in the garbage can. Sure, it smells good sometimes and I know Dad puts some delightfully awful stuff in it, but I won’t pursue it because it means I’d have to deal with that scary garbage bag.
I think the thing that scares me the most is the new garbage bag. It starts out all flat and folded up. Then it starts to spread out and fill up with air. The absolute worst part is when Dad snaps his arms and that mean old bag becomes huge. While it’s getting huge it makes an unearthly loud noise that scares the crap out of me – not literally but there have been some close calls, believe me!
Then he takes that garbage bag and puts it inside the garbage can and makes sure all the air is pushed out. Gee. Sometimes I think he pays more attention to that stupid garbage bag than me!
After my fifteen minutes of hiding out, I’ll come out and sniff around. If I sniff the new garbage bag, it doesn’t smell nearly as good as the full one Dad took out. I don’t know why he doesn’t save the full one and throw out the new one.
Sometimes the dead soldier – the full garbage bag that Dad is going to take outside – is still in the house for awhile before he takes it out, especially in the winter. I’m still weary of that thing and I don’t go too near, even though it has a tantalizing smell of decomposing stuff of all kinds in it.
Basically the garbage can and garbage bags are a lot like the vacuum cleaner. I don’t have them figured out so I just stay away!