The Stare

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Stare

I do it all the time. I know it bothers Dad because he tries to figure out what I’m trying to say. He is always convinced that I have some kind of serious need whenever I do it. He doesn’t know that sometimes I get bored and stare at him for the fun of it, just to mess with him. It can be a lot of fun and a good source of entertainment.

He’ll start asking me questions: What is it, buddy? Do you need to go out? Are you hungry? Do you have to go potty? Did you hear something outside? I try to look more urgent just to get to him. He figures we dogs only have a few basic needs and when I give him the stare, he goes down through the list.

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It drives him crazy. He thinks he has me all figured out but he doesn’t have a clue! I try to be humble but it’s clear that I run the household. Cats have nothing on me. I know all the psychological warfare. Whenever he thinks he has the upper hand, I give him the stare and he melts. Too funny.

I’ve found myself staring sometimes and I forget what I’m doing. I’ve been staring so long that I’ve drifted off to sleep with my eyes open! How embarrassing, not to mention the discomfort of waking up with a bad case of dry eyes. I usually run to the window and make sure I haven’t missed anything outside before I calm down and go back and try the stare again.

But I don’t like to be cruel. I will often let him take me outside and try to take a token pee just to let him think he finally figured out what I needed. Other times I’ll milk it a little longer just to make him squirm. Controlling humans isn’t really that hard. You just have to be good at holding your eyes open for a long time.

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